Share this Update

20 photos; 5:00 video

I couldn’t believe the nerve of this cop. I wasn’t bothering anybody. All I did was pull into a parking space, drop a quarter in for fifteen minutes so I could order a latte at my local café, something I do every single damn day. The only problem was there was a particularly long line today…and what does this cop do? He pulls his pig wagon behind me to wedge in my car, parking at a fire hydrant, mind you, and proceeds to smugly enter the café and skip the line so he can get his coffee. I can’t stand cops who abuse their power for something so mundane like that. It’s not like he had an emergency call or anything…he just wanted his caffeine fix like the rest of us in line.

So I finally get my coffee and head back to my car, and there’s one minute left on the meter. I jump into the car and get ready to peel out, but this pitiful excuse for a police officer is casually sitting in the driver’s seat XXXX his coffee, refusing to move his cop car so I can get out. As I sit there fuming at what’s going on, Officer Dumbbell gets out of his car and approaches my window. I roll it down and try my best to put on a smile.

“Morning officer,” I say through clenched teeth.

“Morning, sir. I’m afraid I’m going to have to write you up.”

“For what?”

“Your meter is expired.”

I did my best to explain that I couldn’t pull out of my spot because he wedged me in, but he just stood there silently writing up a ticket with a grin on his face I wanted to rip off with my bare hands.

“Have a good day, sir,” he said with a smile, then returned to his car and drove off.

This is why good, honest Americans don’t respect the law like they should, because idiots like this guy are taking advantage of the system they’re trained and paid to protect. While looking over the ticket, I made a decision that I wasn’t going to let that happen to me. So I pulled off and followed the pigmobile.

It was pretty easy to follow this jerk since he only went around the corner to a nearby park, pulled over and proceeded to go to XXXX. This guy is supposed to be protecting the innocent? He needed to be taught a lesson, and I was the perfect guy to do it.

I went into my trunk and pulled out a soaked rag (what it was soaked with isn’t important). I quietly approached the oinker, reached in with the rag and covered his nose and mouth. He woke up immediately, but by the time he started fighting back, he was already on the way. Seconds later he was fast asleep once again, but this time he wasn’t going to wake up. I grabbed a bag from my trunk and locked up my car. Then I opened the cop’s car, pushed him over to the passenger seat and got in. As I pulled away, I looked around to make sure nobody saw anything, and as far as I could tell, nobody did.

As impromptu as this was, I felt somewhat liberated by what I was doing. It was about time somebody took matters into their own hands to clean up the trash in this city, even the trash that wears a uniform and badge. I pulled up to a warehouse that I get paid to clean on the weekends. It happened to be a Sunday, so nobody would be there except me. I got out of the car, unlocked the warehouse door, the proceeded to carry Officer Obnoxious inside. I returned for my bag of goodies, locked up the cop car and entered the warehouse.

There were numerous rooms inside I could use, and the one that stuck out the most was this barely used room that had very little furniture inside it, which was perfect. All I needed was a chair. I propped the pompous policeman in the chair, then opened my bag of goodies: rope and bandanas galore. I kept this bag in my car for trips to the lumber yard; you never know when you’re going to need to tie some wood to the roof, and bungie cords just don’t cut it.

I removed a length of red rope from the bag and proceeded to tie the cop’s hands behind his back. I grabbed another and secure his feet. Everything was going perfectly. I reached into the bag and blindly grabbed an American Flag bandana…how fitting! It felt like I was doing a service for my country anyway, so what better gag for a corrupt cop than that.

As I stuck the bandana in the cop’s mouth, he began to stir. By the time he was fully conscious, I had that sucker tied tightly behind his head. I looked down at this poor excuse for an authority figure and gave him the same grin he gave me when writing that bogus ticket.

“Guess writing that ticket wasn’t such a good idea anymore, was it,” I said.

“Mmmmpppphhh! Mmmmmppph!”

“Sorry, that didn’t’ sound like an apology. Besides, I’m not looking for one.”

I pulled out a longer stretch of rope and began wrapping it around his torso, ensuring he wouldn’t be able to break away from the chair. As he watched me with concerned eyes, the pleasure inside me grew to new heights. I was enjoying this far too much. I mean, here I was XXXX an officer of the law, a serious felony in every state, and all I could do was smile. I’d never broken the law intentionally in my life, but there was something thrilling about this. I felt like some kind of hero…a vigilante protecting the people of my city from dastardly, corrupt men like Officer Entitled.

As I stood back and watched my captive struggled like crazy to no avail, I started thinking about different ways I could go into business. I mean, I could definitely see myself working days at the lumber yard, cleaning the warehouse on weekends and protecting the innocent at night. I would need to wear a costume…only the coolest superheroes had costumes. But first I needed to teach my captured villain a lesson...one he wouldn’t soon forget.

“People like you take advantage of their position in society and don’t understand that the badge they wear on their chest is a symbol of trust, honor and integrity. You proved earlier that you have none of those qualities.”

“MMMPPH!”

“I want you to remember what happens here the next time you decide to abuse the power given to you by the people you’re paid to protect.”

I reached out, unbuckled his belt, and yanked it off. The cop looked down at his pants as they loosened and quickly became aware of my intentions. He began to thrash about, which only made my knots more restrictive.

I knelt down beside him, grabbed his pants and began to pull them down.

Suddenly, the door burst open and two uniformed officers rushed into the room.

I immediately threw my hands up in the air. Apparently, my vigilante days were already over.

THE END

Model: Dante

Photography by Nick007

Date of Production: 3-22-2015