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Officer Francis Xavier O’Reilly patrolled his beat. This new idea of the chief’s was great, getting the officers out of their cars and back onto the streets. The chief wanted to present a softer, gentler face to the community, and he wanted his officers to get to know the people in their area. Francis was all for the new plan, especially since he was given this nice neighbourhood to patrol. The old people had become nervous with all the young gangbangers who had started hanging around on the street corners, but the constant police presence had seemed to scare them off. The residents showed their appreciation by showering Officer O’Reilly with all sorts of goodies. He patted his stomach as he walked along the street. This holiday season had taken its toll. After today, he would really have to start hitting the gym, and cutting back on all the scrumptious treats that were pressed upon him. But tomorrow was soon enough to start on his new regime A new regime for a new year. He licked his lips in anticipation as he glanced at his watch. Sweet little old Mrs. Valenti had promised him canolli fresh from the oven if he showed up at 11 o’clock sharp. Mmm, canolli, his favourite. He couldn’t wait. Mrs. Valenti was new to the neighbourhood, and seemed lonely. She certainly wanted to chat with Francis every time he walked by her house, asking him all sorts of questions about his job, how often he had to check in, etc. It was refreshing to meet someone her age who could take such an interest in police work. She seemed very keen witted, and was certainly a spry old lady. Francis had seen her run to catch a cab, and she had moved with the speed that a woman half her age would envy. Francis wasn’t sure that he could move that fast himself. Ah, just a couple of minutes until 11. Francis picked up his pace. If he hurried, he could scarf down a couple of canolli, and have a little chat with Mrs. Valenti.

"Hello? Hello, Mrs. Valenti, are you there?" Francis was concerned. The front door of Mrs. Valenti’s house was ajar. He hoped that the old dear hadn’t had a stroke, or fallen down the stairs and broken her hip. He would have to investigate. He pushed the door open and stepped over the threshold. "Hello? Mrs. Va…..OOOOUUUUFFFFFFFF!"

Francis bent over, gasping with pain as fist slammed into his stomach. He staggered, as the breath was XXXX of him. A strong hand grabbed him by the shoulder, pulling him into the house. The front door slammed behind him as he was XXXX to his knees. What the hell was going on here?
"You know what to do boys. Make sure that the cop doesn’t get in our way."
"What…what are you doing? Hey, stop that!" Francis croaked. He could barely speak, let alone move, and was helpless to stop the brawny young men who dragged him further into the house. One of them pulled his handcuffs from his duty belt. Francis feebly tried to resist as his arms were yanked behind, and the cuffs locked into place.
"Who are you guys? What have you done with Mrs. Valenti?" Francis had horrible visions of the sweet old lady bludgeoned to XXXX by these thugs, or lying XXXX in her bed.
"Ha ha, you dumb cluck. Who do you think that I am? Doesn’t the bright boy recognize me?" Francis looked up at the man standing in front of him. He did seem vaguely familiar. No, it couldn’t be! This guy must be Mrs. Valenti’s son, or grandson.
"Why…why, what is this? What is going on here?"

"Shut the cop up, boys. God knows I’ve had to listen to go on and on over the past few weeks. Though we have to be thankful that he is such a motor mouth; I’ve picked up some good information from him."
"Wait, no, you can’t do this to….MMMMHHHHH!"
Francis’s protests were reduced to gurgled moans as a knotted bandanna was shoved between his teeth and tied behind his head.
"GGGMMNOO. MMMUMMDOING? GGGMCANTMMMDOMMTHIS. GGMMPOLICEMMOFFICER!"
"Jeez, he does have a mouth on him, doesn’t he? Here, this should shut him up properly. Some blue tape for our boy in blue."
"GGGGGLUGHMM. MMGGAHMMNOOOO" Francis moaned as tape was wrapped around his bandanna-gagged mouth. His mind was reeling. Could this slender young man really be Mrs. Valenti? It might explain the husky voice that the old lady had, and the hairs that Francis had observed sprouting on her chin. Shit, this must be some kind of elaborate plot. He had to get out of here! Frank staggered to his feet, and tried to make a run for it. He hadn’t taken more than two steps before he was tripped, and went crashing to the floor.

"Nice try, big boy, but you don’t win any prizes for trying. Rope him up, boys, good and tight. We don’t want the pig interfering with our plans, do we?"
Francis could only moan in impotent fury, and pain, as he was trussed up like a pig going to market. His ankles and feet were tied up, and then they were jerked and attached to the chain of his handcuffs. He lay on the floor, glaring at the pseudo Mrs. Valenti.
"Gee, Officer O’Reilly, I really hate to leave you like this, but we’ve got things to do. The boys and I have a shipment to clear out of this place. You’ve been a real pain in the butt, you know, making life really difficult by being around here constantly. Now, you have a nice rest, while we do our work."

Francis lay on the floor, cuffed, roped and gagged, fuming to himself while the criminals carried out box after box. How could he have been so stupid? He couldn’t believe that this guy had fooled him. He tugged on the ropes, vainly trying to reach the knots that tied his hands to his feet. If he could get even partially loose, he had a chance at escape. Who knew what these thugs would do once they had moved their booty out of here? They might just decide to put a bullet through the head of Officer Francis Xavier O’Reilly. He struggled whenever he was alone in the room, lying quiet when the men were passing back and forth.

It seemed as if hours had passed, though Francis had no idea how long he had been lying on the floor, cuffed and gagged. He was exhausted, every muscle in his body aching from the bondage, and his efforts to get free from it. What was going to happen to him?
"Aww, don’t you look cute, all tied up like that? I really should take a few pictures, just to remind me how stupid you pigs can be. What do you think about that, Officer O’Reilly?"
Francis grunted defiantly at his tormentor. Shit, that was just what he needed, some punk criminal taking pictures of him as he lay helpless, restrained with his own cuffs, hogtied and gagged. He whimpered with frustration as the pseudo Mrs. V. took out a digital camera and started taking pictures of him. This was so humiliating.

"There, that should do the trick. Sorry for the inconvenience, Officer O’Reilly. The boys and I must be on our way. It’s been nice knowing you. Don’t worry, someone should find you here, eventually."
Francis renewed his struggles. Damn, why couldn’t he get these ropes untied? He knew that the cuffs wouldn’t come off until he could reach his spare key, which was completely out of reach at the moment. He lay on the floor, panting through his gag, as he realized that he wouldn’t get free until someone found him. He just prayed that one of the neighbours had noticed him going into the house. Otherwise he was in for a long wait. His stomach rumbled. Grrr, it was time for lunch, and he was obviously not going to get any yummy fresh canolli. It looked like he was going to be XXXX to start his New Year resolution a day early!

THE END

Date of Production:12/30/2003