Control by Fidelis
35 photos
Control
by Fidelis
"Gimme that!"
"NO! You got to watch WWF, now it’s MY turn. I wanna watch The Bachelor!"
"You selfish little creep. First you to try to hide the last brewski – yeah, I saw you put it behind the couch – and now you want the remote. No way."
Andy scowled. Damn, he was sure that Frank had been so busy stuffing his face with chips that he hadn’t noticed the beer trick. Still – he sure as hell didn’t want to watch monster trucks. Frank had such tacky taste in TV. He didn’t want to watch any quality shows; the kind of shows that Andy liked. Andy wasn’t going to spend the night watching more crap. Frank poked him in the chest, and made a lunge for the remote control. It fell out of Andy’s hand, and Frank dived for it. Ha, what an idiot.
"Lemme go! You’re choking me!"
"Not until you let go of that remote."
Crash. Thud. The two men rolled around on the floor yelling at each other, both scrambling for the remote control. Andy managed to pin Frank to the floor, straddling him and holding his hands down.
"Say Uncle! Tell me that I can watch whatever I want to."
"NO!"
Suddenly the door of their apartment burst open. Andy looked up and his jaw dropped. Gus Liebling from next door was standing in the doorway. He had a rifle in his hand, and it was pointed at Frank and Andy.
"Enough, enough! I can’t stand it anymore. All night, every night you two are hollering and fighting. And your TV and your radio blaring crap all day and all night. If I hear one more word from Rush Limbaugh or Jerry Springer I’m going to crack! Get over there…..move those chairs."
Gus was shaking, spittle was flying from his mouth – generally he looked unstable. Frank and Andy moved a couple of chairs to where Gus had indicated and sat down in them as ordered. In no time at all the two roommates were trussed up with the rope that Gus had brought with him, their mouths tightly gagged.
"Ah, such bliss. Finally peace and quiet. Now why don’t we sit down and enjoy an evening of television? Oh, and a beer! You two are more considerate than I thought. Chips too! Yummy! Just let me make myself comfy here on the couch, and we can watch Washington Week in Review."
Andy and Frank stared at each other, aghast, as their neighbor made himself comfortable, drinking their last beer and snuggling down under the comforter on the couch. Within minutes he was snoring away. They looked at each other. For once they were in agreement. There was no way that they were going to spend the night tied up like this, watching those people yammering away. The struggle began.
Thump. Andy fell out of his chair as he tried to get loose.
"MMMPHHHAHAHAHAMMLOSER!"
"GGGHELPGGHMMMEEEEE."
Jeez, Andy was a real loser. Falling out of the chair like that. Frank was so much smarter. He would hope over to the kitchen, get a knife and…CRASH. The goddamn idiot would pick just that moment to roll around on the floor, tripping Frank up.
"GGMMPHNANANA. MMMWHOTHLOSERMMNOW?"
Grrrrrrrr. Frank snarled through his gag. Andy was such an immature jerk. Look what he had just done.
"MMMUNTIEMMYYHANDSTH."
‘MMMNNNOOO.UMMUNTIEPHHMYMMHANDS."
Who did Frank think he was kidding? Andy knew exactly what that idiot would do once he was untied. He would leave Andy all tied up, and get his mitts on the remote control and watch his trashy shows on TV. How dumb did he think Andy was? No way – Frank would have to untie HIM!
The two men thrashed around on the floor, snarling at each other through their gags as they tried to free themselves. And still those people on TV talked on and on and on and on. Oh, thank God, that show was finally over. The torture was over. Maybe they would have something decent on next. PBS was such a high brow network – Frank thought they he might just be able to stand something like Judge Judy - that was the kind of show PBS probably broadcast. Legal stuff like that.
NOOOOOO! Frank and Andy stared at each other in XXXX. Babes in long dresses were on TV, giggling away about getting married. They couldn’t spend the night like this! They would go insane. They had to get loose!
Hours later, Andy and Frank still lay on the floor, their eyes glazed over as the Pride and Prejudice marathon came to an end. Feeble groans came from their gagged mouths. Gus still lay snoring on the on the couch, and thanks to Frank, the remote was now lying somewhere under the couch. Andy looked longingly at the rifle. He would like to use it on himself now. He had never spent such a horrible evening. He hadn’t even been able to fall aXXXX to end the torture. He waited impatiently for the station to go off the air. What was this? A special presentation of Bleak House? All 24 episodes back to back!!!! NNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
THE END
Date of Production: 07/04/2003