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 "GGGLLMMPHH!!! GGMPPHATCHAMDOING? MMMHEEELPP!"
"What’s the matter, soldier boy? Cat got your tongue? Ha ha ha, I like that one. Don’t you think it’s funny?"
"MMMPHHHH! GGGMMUUUCRAZYMFUCKR!"
Damn, Zeke thought. He knew that he shouldn’t have had that little XXXX, but nothing had happened the previous times when he had enjoyed a little snooze while on duty. The endless pacing back and forth guarding this supposedly top secret site got really, really boring after a while. Looking at trees all day long wasn’t much fun, and he never saw a single soul come or go from the facility. He had been here for a month, and so far as he knew there hadn’t been a single visitor. He had got into the habit of snatching a little shut-eye from time to time, and no one had caught him, until now. He had been rudely awakened from a very pleasant dream by a XXXX being shoved into his face. A guy dressed in black, with a black ski mask over his face held the XXXX. He had a couple of companions with him, laden with lethal looking hardware. It had them just a minute to truss Zeke up, making him look like a big sausage. Zeke had attempted to tell them that was against only regulations, but they had just laughed, and one of them had taken a bandanna from his pocket, tied a big knot in it, and shoved it into Zeke’s protesting mouth. Then the bastard had tied it really tight, until Zeke felt his cheeks bulging over the strip of cloth.
  "GMMMCANTMMDOMTHIS!"
"You bet I can, soldier boy. You snooze, you lose. Ha ha ha, I like that one. Don’t you think it’s funny? By the way, why don’t you take another snooze, since you’re so fond of XXXXping? We’ve got some business to conduct here."
"MOOMMMPHHHH!"

 Zeke lay on the dirty old concrete, whimpering into his gag. Being pushed down like that had hurt a lot, especially since he was all trussed up. Zeke didn’t want to take another XXXX. XXXXping had got him into this situation in the first place. He had to get free and get back to the base, and get help. The bad guys were undoubtedly romping around the top-secret site, causing mischief. It was Zeke’s patriotic duty to get free and perhaps save his country. Hmm, yes, he would be a hero! The President would pin a medal on him, and he would make him Mom so happy. That is, if no one found out about the XXXXs. Fueled by dreams of fame and fortune, Zeke began struggling against the ropes. Gee, he thought, those guys were really good with the knots. He wasn’t making any headway in getting his hands loose. Perhaps he should try to untie his feet, and then he could run for help.
  After what seemed like hours, Zeke yelled through his gag in frustration. He thought that he had dislocated his shoulder in his efforts to reach the rope around his feet, and he was soaked with sweat and extremely uncomfortable. He couldn’t find any position to lie that didn’t cause some part of his body to hurt. And to add insult to injury, he had hadn’t been able to loosen his ropes at all. He had even tried rubbing the knots against the concrete, but all that he had managed to do was to rub all the skin off his hands. He realized that he wasn’t going to get himself free – somehow he had to reach someone who would untie him. He began inching along the path, wondering how long it would take him to find help. He was tired and hungry and thirsty, but he was determined to get help.
  "Going somewhere, soldier boy?"
Zeke had been so intent on his belly crawl, that he hadn’t noticed the masked men come bounding out of the woods. They stood around him laughing, obviously in a good mood, as they nudged him with their booted feet, and made unkind comments about his condition.

"We can’t have you going anywhere, soldier boy, not just yet. Why don’t we make you just a wee bit comfier?"
"GGGMNOOOOO! NOTMMMORE! MMPLLLEEEZZZ"

 The bad guys ignored Zeke’s muffled pleas as they hogtied him. Things became even worse when Zeke was blindfolded. He was left lying on his stomach, hogtied, gagged and blindfolded. Zeke was totally freaked out by not being able to see. He redoubled his efforts to get free, but it was all in vain. The pain in his shoulders was even worse, now that his hands were tied to his feet. To make matters worse, the cruel villains had pulled down his bandanna gag, stuffed a disgusting tasting rag into his mouth, and then retied the bandanna even tighter than it had been before. His blindfold was so tight he was seeing red. Zeke managed to sit up, even though he was hogtied, but then he fell over, hitting his head. Everything went black. His last thought before he passed out was how he had failed to save his country from the bad guys.

 Zeke was finally released when his relief for guard duty showed up. It wasn’t until later that he found out that the ‘bad guys’ were really journalists from a tabloid, and that the top secret site that he had been guarding was really the secret love nest of a very highly placed politician.

Zeke played by Gurth
Photography by Caitiff